Honest To God

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Have you ever had your teen just sit there and stare at you when you are trying to talk to them? You swear they aren’t even hearing a word you are saying and all they’re doing is sitting with their jaw dropped open as if they are doing their best cod-fish impression. Taking to a teen can be hard, and it can be even harder to get them to talk to you.

Here’s a few ideas on how to get into a meaningful conversation with your teen:

1. Remember, teens listen to parents who listen. If you are taking time to hear them out, they will hear you out. Don’t be so quick to talk at them about things you want to say, but take the time to talk with them truly trying to understand what they are communicating.
2. Consider, going on a car ride with them. Sometimes driving can be the best way for parents and teens to talk because they do not have to look you eye-to-eye and there is nowhere else they can go. Make the most of errands by taking them along, or purposely drive them for dinner or ice cream somewhere farther than the place right down the street.
3. Don’t forget, vulnerability is the key to intimacy. If you want a teen to be open and honest with you, it may mean you need to let them in to your heart too. Be willing to be open. Share with them your deep thoughts or even past mistake in order to teach them lessons you’ve already learned. This will encourage them to be willing to share with you their life lessons as well.

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“It is impossible for God to lie.”

God can do everything, except not be God. Because He is God – meaning that He is holy, pure and true. Therefore, it is impossible for Him to lie. If He did, He would not be God. So you and I can rest assured that if God has said that He will save us, and all the other promises in His Word, then He will fulfill His promises.

Men may break promises, but God never will.

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Practical Steps for Anger and Conflict Resolution:

• Focus on what I can do to correct it
• Strive to understand the other person’s perspective
• Encourage open discussion, allow both parties to express their feelings
• First admit that I am part of the problem
• Recognize I cannot do anything to change the other person (only Christ can)
• Unpack on my thoughts about the issue and examine them biblically
• Find out what my spouse is feeling and try to understand
• Try to understand and capture the facts on paper
• Be willing to change my behavior after comparing my actions against biblical principles
• Listen to the other person describe what they think I should change about my behavior
• Use proper words, tone of voice and body language in all I say to everyone involved
• Take time to point out the things I appreciate (even in the midst of disagreement)
• be grateful for the different perspective that other person has and try to learn from that difference
• Write down specific and repeatable and attainable ways I can better serve others in the future from what I’ve learned in this situation
• Commit to solve the root cause of the immediate conflict permanently before moving forward

(Adapted from Steve Freeburne)

Other Helpful Resources:
The Christian Counselor’s Manual, Jay Adams, Page 348-367
The Heart of Anger, Lou Priolo

Recently I found myself in an unexpected heated discussion. It had been awhile since I had seen this gentleman, and without a greeting or even a simple “Hello” he entered into a discussion with an attacking tone as if I had previously threatened all that was precious to him.

Not only did this conversation take me by surprise, but I also found myself growing in frustration and anger as the discussion went on. The “It’s not fair” light seemed to be flashing obnoxiously in my brain as I tried to find my way to exit the conversation.

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